When Control Becomes Violence

You may not remember the exact moment when you began choosing your words before you spoke. You only know that now you weigh whether to tell him about an encounter, delete a message that could be misunderstood, decide not to wear something that might provoke an argument, and watch the time so you will not have to explain being late. You do not necessarily think of yourself as afraid. You tell yourself that you simply want to avoid tension, that he is jealous because he cares about you, that he has a difficult temperament and that, ultimately, you just have to know how to handle him.

Your day goes on, but part of you remains occupied with anticipating his reaction. Before deciding what you want, you calculate what might bother him; before saying what you think,…